


Objectifying Rodney McKay (/David Hewlett): A Picspam

by bitter_crimson (Krim)



Series: Objectification Picspams [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate Atlantis RPF
Genre: Picspam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-04-29
Updated: 2008-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-17 14:03:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10595526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krim/pseuds/bitter_crimson
Summary: A completely gratuitous objectification of various parts of Rodney McKay (/David Hewlett)'s body





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [doomette](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=doomette).



  
Unfortunately, as I got started, I realized I had a little problem. It is really, really hard to break Rodney down into easily-objectified components. There are just so many parts of him to lust after! There's hair (1) and eyes (2) and mouth (3) and shoulders (4) and torso (5) and arms (6)!

    

Plus, there's his belleh (7).

    

And David shares all these same parts! Since, you know, from a purely physical objectification POV, they're exactly the same person. There's feet (1) and hair (2) and shoulders (3) and eyes (4) and hands (5) and chest (6) and arms (7).

    

So, I may not have done a perfect job of focusing on single body parts. But you know, I tried my best! And I think I made a valiant effort at not letting myself get _too_ distracted in the process. I mean, look:

It's not fair that I should have to stare at those lips and not be able to nibble on them. And hell, they just kept coming! Half-smiling lips:

Lips accompanied by tufts of chest hair:

Lips occupied with phallic objects:

Including lots

of

cigarettes:

And flashlights.

There's fully-bearded lips:

And moist, talking lips.

There's the oh-so-lickable smirk:

And the wide-open, insert-cock-here mouth.

These slightly-parted lips are just begging to be coaxed open by a skillful tongue.

A smiling mouth is just a joy to behold.

I'll admit, I'm a little distracted from these lips by the vector field of stubble surrounding them. (But I’m trying to keep my eyes on the prize.)

Ah, here. The stubble has sprouted into a full beard again.

Red and slightly wrinkled lips are made to be moistened.

And once more, here's a mouth that's obviously dying to accommodate some kind of intrusion:

The lighting here suggests these are maybe stealth lips:

(Or perhaps these pouty ones are.)

Lips can be happy despite injuries incurred elsewhere!

But lips can also be proud and somber.

I think my favorite pose for the Rodney-lips, though, will always be the smirk/half-smile.

After all, that down-turned corner just begs for some worrying.

_Hmm,_ Rodney thinks. _I really do have an admirable mouth, don't I?_

Of course, the rest of his head is also nice.

But let's focus on the eyes for a bit, shall we?

The McKay/Hewlett eyes are very expressive:

Not to mention adorable.

They are sometimes serious,

but are also known to express joy (and delicious crow's feet).

We must take particular note of the eyelashes:

(Perhaps another for good measure.)

And of course, the eyes lead us upward to another important part of Rodney McKay...

His hair:

Often fluffy and soft and just a little bit unkempt, Rodney's hair accompanies him on many dangerous missions.

Sometimes he even gets twice as much hair.

And of course, as always, David Hewlett shares Rodney's hair as well.

(Making it equally delicious to run one's hands through.)

Of course, there was a time when both had even more hair,

but we don't mind. We love Rodney's hair just the way it is.

But moving on to another lust-worthy body part, let's talk about arms and shoulders.

Shoulders are nice body parts because they connect to so many other things, including armpits, and chests, which sometimes feature nipples.

However, one of the most important bits they connect to are the arms.

Arms are necessary for all kinds of things.

They make a handy writing surface!

And they can be pointed at things.

Arms can be used to melt the brains of your opponents due to their overwhelming hotness.

Or to give someone a hug!

Arms are also handy (heh) because they (generally) end in hands.

And hands, you will see, are good for many, many things.

Namely, hand!porn.

(And I may be giving away my own personal favorite bit of Rodney McKay right here. Although, crap, his mouth. And his belly. And his nnnngh thighs. And his shoulders. And-- Okay, I take it back about the favorite. But still! Hands!)

It is very important for Rodney's hands to be skillful, given his line of work.

And we, of course, can ~~get off on~~ benefit from that skill.

On missions, the hands might frequently be seen holding a weapon of some kind.

 

Or, you know... Well, this is sort of a weapon.

But in the labs, the hands must be very precise.

Yet still open to input from others!

Sometimes what the hands really need is a tender, loving touch from a ~~certain lieutenant colonel~~ fellow expedition member.

But often, the hands will jump in and save the day!

Full of strength and courage!

...and relax with a nice drink when they're done.

Because where can you go wrong with these hands?

Obviously, such a thought is a logical error.

These hands know how to party.

They'll raise the roof:

(Surprise lemon attack!)

If you don't think these hands are fantastic,

then obviously, you're crazy.

So in conclusion: Win.

Oh, but by "conclusion," I don't mean we're done here. Far from it. We can, however, take a break for a little nap.

...zzzzzz...

...zzzzzz...

...zzzzzz...

...zzzz--*snort* Nnnmph? Oh, okay. Awake again now. (Though I certainly hope all of you were awake and paying attention for that, because we're not going back! Not yet, anyway.) Let's move on to the rest of the torso!

The torso is a body part known for combining shoulders, chest, belly, arms and hands all in one. It also joins the head and crotch. Really, it is a miraculous area.

Let's get a profile view in here for further investigation, shall we?

Or perhaps dress it up a bit more.

...Nahhh, why bother with that when you can have it undressed?

And before moving on from the torso, let's pay a little more homage to one particular area. Yes, that's right. The belly, or as we call it, BELLEH.

And one more, there, shall we?

All right, all right. Good enough for now. Now let's follow that trail of belly hair down to its inevitable destination.

O HAI CROTCH!

The McKay crotch is often accentuated by a thigh holster:

While the Hewlett crotch is sadly not so fortunate.

Still, the crotch is always beloved by us. Even in particularly crazy get-ups.

Branching off of that crotch, we have two particularly brain-melting parts known as _thighs._

Which, inevitably, end in calves and feet.

...But you know, of course, where this is heading.

And no, it's not the head. ~~Get your minds out of the gutter!~~ I just thought I'd throw a couple of these in here to throw you off the scent.

Okay, okay! I'll stop being evil. Here you go:

Oh. Hey. Shall we have that again?

Well. That's. Um. Yes, that right there. Can't we have a tiny bit more?

*cough* Someone should really, uhhhhm. Someone should really ~~spank that~~ ~~take a good bite out of that~~ cover that up. Really, people! We have standards of decency to uphold!

*fans self* Ahem. There. That's ~~a crime, covering up an ass like that~~ better. ~~D= D=~~ And from now until the end, it's a cornucopia of parts. A grab bag of bits to grab and grope, if you will. There's mouths and shoulders.

Or hands and bellehs:

There's a head tucked into chest and knees and arm.

Or hands and crotch happily posing together.

There's a hand posed artfully on a thigh:

Sometimes the parts just want to come right into the camera.

And sometimes you wish you could maybe see through parts to the other ones when they're in the way.

Hands and mouth express equal disdain.

Or an entire Rodney climbs up to give us a better vantage point on his chest, thighs, arms and hands.

Or, you know, the reclining position is always good too.

Rodney caresses his ~~phallic object~~ gun with his hands, while our eyes caress both that and another ~~phallic object~~ area of the picture.

And once again: Hands. Arms. Crotch. Thighs.

Sometimes you maybe stop objectifying for a moment and wish you could jump in and make all of Rodney's parts better.

(But deep down inside, we all know this is because we're dirty, pervy people, and all we really want is to fix it all up so we can have it for ourselves.)

We don't feel guilty about this, though.

I mean, faced with such body parts, how could we _not_ objectify them?

So there's no need for us to persecute ourselves, here.

After all, we're only doing what any rational person would do.

And that's to dutifully molest Rodney McKay/David Hewlett with our ~~hands~~ ~~mouths~~ ~~feet~~ eyes.

Ahhhh, that's better. When we know it's our job, we can be proud of our tendency to stare just a little too long at Rodney's pecs and arms.

...Or to neglect whatever else is going on onscreen because Rodney's wearing a thigh holster and fiddling with his "gun."

Come now, Rodney obviously wouldn't ~~fear~~ blame us!

I'm sure he'd be quite gung-ho about our treating him like an object.

It wouldn't be like a punch in the face at all! (Not that I just wanted an excuse to include this picture or anything.) No, it'd be brilliant and fantastic.

Hey, kinda like Rodney. How about that!

(You are all excused to go do whatever it is you have to do, now.)

THE END!


End file.
